Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
