I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
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