Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
