chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
