There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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