i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize