i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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