if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
17 year olds will be the death of me.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
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