he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
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She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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