We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
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