Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
