Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
