I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
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