So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
