Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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