oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
