U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
