you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
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