ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
