holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
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It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
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My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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