After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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