We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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