He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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