That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
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It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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