David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
