yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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