Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize
