pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
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