I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
