So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
