she takes plan B like it's going out of style
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize
