you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize