Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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