Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
