I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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