And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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