She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
