so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
