It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Randomize
