You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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