Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
