There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
