i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
