So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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