I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Do vagina's smell?
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Randomize
