My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
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