those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
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I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
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I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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