I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
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