She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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