my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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