Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Randomize
