Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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