All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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