You just made me feel so damn special
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
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