On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Ladies don't puke and tell
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