Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
