He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
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