We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
