What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
