My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
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