U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
He? As in you personified your dick?
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize